


The Great Department of Defense Hack of 1984

by Suchsmallhands



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Magic, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/M, Good Regulus Black, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Mischief, No Angst, No Smut, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22181572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suchsmallhands/pseuds/Suchsmallhands
Summary: James Potter loves Sirius and his desire for his well being leads to the highest level of crime that they've ever accomplished. It's the mid eighties, the boys are in their mid twenties, and James Potter somehow ends up reluctantly endorsing and participating in the breaking and entering of a high security government facility. The boys want a challenge and they find one, with some fun, love, and brotherly bonding along the way.It started because James has a heart that is too good for his own good. And the good of others.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. I was on The Internet the other day and I passed this post saying what about magic universe hackers. Like techie hackers in real life except they're magical hackers. And... I really liked the idea. I probably strayed from the primary idea but basically this is what came out of me reading that post online. 
> 
> The Post: https://punkrockgrantaire.tumblr.com/post/120703759978  
> Thank you to the OP on tumblr, you spawned a fun idea that lasted me a very pleasant three days of work!
> 
> I will post the next chapter as soon as I have it edited! It's written I just need to re read it.

It started because James has a heart that is too good for his own good. And the good of others.

Regulus had finally broken from the Black family. He hadn’t quite been taken off of the family tapestry, if you looked right below the wicked black spell mark where Sirius had once been, you could see Regulus Arcturus Black. He had been taken out of the family money however, and as any properly rebelling Black knows, this is the rite of passage.

Sirius had gone on high alert when Andromeda had owled him the news. Next thing he knew, he was standing outside Regulus’ door (thinking he was a fool and he’d rather kick him in the shin and run away). There had been a stiff exchange of acceptances.

Following this, there were awkward dinners, forced occasions by Lily.

“James!” Sirius had whined, “Can you be on my side for _once!”_

“I’m always on your side!” James gave him a fatherly look, “But don’t you think she’s got a point? If it’s up to you and your awful family skills, the two of you will never speak to one another. I don’t want you to just see each other on Christmas and birthdays! And I don’t want Regulus to be an awkward… seventh wheel when we have family time! What will Harry think of him? I know it’s awkward! Don’t you think I know it’s awkward?”

“ _Evans!”_ Sirius snapped, giving her a glare worthy of Walburga – or Remus when you’ve finally put your nose too far into his business.

Lily glanced up with a flat look from Harry’s left over macaroni which she was sprucing up to eat.

“No.” She tapped off the fork and put the plate in the microwave.

“ _Fine._ Have fun making conversation with Reg, this was your idea.”

“It’s already done.” She threw over her shoulder, “I invited him this morning.”

The next day saw Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, Harry, and Regulus at the Potter table. The clock could literally be heard ticking on the wall. Harry picked up a French fry and started to eat, along with everyone else except the two.

“Why did you serve burgers,” Sirius asked the Potters and gave a bored and exasperated look at Regulus who hadn’t started eating. “He doesn’t know how to eat without a fork.”

“Do be quiet.” Regulus grumbled and started eating. Of course they knew how to eat without forks.

Remus gave Sirius a mild look and ruffled Harry’s hair who already had ketchup on his face. James and Lily made the conversation go smoothly from there on and they got through dinner. There were more dinners and afternoons and tea.

Things were going fine. But James Potter couldn’t keep his nose out of it of course. It was _Sirius’_ business, after all, and so it was his, wasn’t it?

“We need to take him on a prank!” James said one day at Sirius and Remus’ flat, leaning toward Sirius with a bright expression.

“James he would be _terrible.”_ Sirius whinged, “He probably doesn’t even want to.”

James rebutted and persisted, to which Sirius asked, “Why do we need to go on a _prank_ together? We don’t even do that so much anymore.”

“Because he wants Regulus to be one of us.” Remus smirked at James.

“He is one of us.” Sirius said but even his tone lost its confidence as he said it. Remus gave him a ‘ _sure_ ’ look.

“I just think it would be a bonding experience.” James said haughtily. James goes about these sort of things knowing he’s already got Sirius and Remus for the most part going along. He just likes to talk it out even though he knows he’s already got his way.

“Do you know how he looked down on us in school? He thought we were idiots for making such a noise of ourselves!” Sirius griped. This is only a little true, on a few occasions, but so did almost everyone in the school.

James crossed his arms and gave him a supplicating look. Sirius sighed dramatically. And the deal was sealed.

\--

Thursday night, eight o’clock, Potter residence, kitchen table. Lily, James, Sirius, and Regulus sat coming up with a plan. Harry toddled from the floor next to Lily’s chair and smacked Sirius on the leg, _Pad. Pad._ They talked on and on as Sirius bounced Harry on his lap. Remus dropped a kiss on Harry’s head and squeezed Lily’s shoulder as he padded off to grade papers with a cup of tea.

“We could turn Andromeda’s house pink?” James offered.

“How tame.” Lily gave him a curious look.

“Well!” James frowned.

“Stop trying to be soft on him.” Sirius laughed, “We could charm a flash party with confetti and music on Diagon Ally. It would be very confusing.” James hummed considerably.

“We could stop by the Three Broomsticks and charm the glasses to make the beer disappear every time someone tries to take a drink? That would be a laugh.”

“That’s boring.” Regulus quirked an eyebrow.

“Hey,” Sirius barked with a scowl, “not every single prank we did in school was a knock-out. Sometimes the simple ones are funny, too.”

“Well you’re not in school anymore.”

“Well we could do something bigger. What about code breaking of some sort? We could hack the floo system so that everyone’s going to strange places?”

Regulus shrugged. “What about a heist?”

Lily coughed into her tea. James blinked, “What?”

“A heist?” Sirius sat up straight with an interested look in his eye. Harry looked around with a wide oblivious stare. “On where? What would we steal?”

“Steal?” James muttered with a confused concerned look.

“Mmm,” Regulus’ arms were crossed, he tapped his finger thoughtfully against his elbow. “Gringotts is all I can think of.”

“We could break into the family vault!” Sirius gasped like a kid entering Zonko’s. Regulus smiled at this.

“Missing the high life already, brother?” He teased.

“Don’t be _irritating!”_ He griped with a disgusted look, holding Harry’s hand. “Of course not! Fuck’s sake we can’t do that!”

“Fuck sake.” Harry babbled and James gave Sirius a look. Sirius hushed Harry gently with a hand on top of his head.

“We don’t have to actually take anything.” Regulus shrugged.

“Oh, well, good on that.” James murmured under his breath.

“Still, I don’t like it.” Sirius frowned, “On second thought, certainly not. What about the ministry vault?”

Lily gave James a disturbed look.

“That could work. I think it would be a challenge but, really, it wouldn’t be that hard technically. Especially with your cloak. It would be more a matter of Polyjuice and impersonation.” Regulus nodded to James.

“You know about my cloak?” James frowned with surprise, glancing at Sirius.

“It was an accident, sorry.” Sirius apologized, “I didn’t mean to tell him. If he betrays us I’ll kill him myself?”

“Thanks.” Regulus said to which Sirius replied with, _Just don’t fuck us, problem solved._

“Gringotts is too… money… grubby. I don’t think I like that.” Regulus hummed.

“If we’re going to hack the ministry vault why not just break into the ministry?” Sirius asked excitedly, “We could see if we can get through the security systems! We could put a mark of some sort at the fountain, to prove we beat the charms!”

Regulus nodded along.

“Merlin’s sake,” James whispered to which Lily gave a wide eyed look of foreboding.

“If it’s charm breaking you want,” Regulus said, “The Department of Defense keeps enchanted items used during war, inside vaults. They’re heavily layered with protective spell work; it would take serious de-charming. It would be a challenge, at least.”

“We could do it.” Sirius affirmed, “I know we could. We’ve done tricky work before! This would be a real challenge!”

“Bedtime.” Lily chimed, laughing in her eyes at James who gave her a baffled look as she abandoned him. Sirius distractedly handed a sleepy Harry over and Lily mouthed _ha ha_ as she took him to bed.

“It would take time,” Regulus said skeptically, “The Department of Defense is protected by heavy charmwork, it’s not Gringotts.”

“Good! Easy!”

“Not _easy.”_ Regulus chided.

“Think you’re not up to it?” He grinned.

“I am,” Regulus grumbled, “I’m not as fast with a wand as you are but I’ve got my strengths.”

“Which are?” He needled good naturedly.

“You’ll need a lot of different skills to break into the Defense Department. You can’t do it remotely, there’s too many protections on a government building. You’ll need to be there in person, scope it out before-hand. You can’t lie to save your life, Sirius, and you’ll need someone who can. I can keep a straight face, at the least.”

“I can lie!”

“You can’t.” James said. Sirius gaped and James gave him a sympathetic look. “You know that! We always made you be quiet and let Remus talk.”

“What about all the times I handled, McGonagall! None of you could face her like I could!” Sirius defended.

“You could be charming and you didn’t feel any guilt! That’s why! But McGonagall always _knew_ there’s was something amiss, you gave it away with that smug _grin_. She just couldn’t get you to fess up, that’s all.”

“I _know_ , yes.” Sirius sighed, “You weren’t that much better.”

“That’s why we let Remus do it.”

“Well, someone’s going to have to do it to ministry workers.” Regulus said plainly, “And I think Remus probably isn’t going to be able to help you this time.”

“Why’s that?” Sirius frowned.

“He’ll never do it.” James put in.

“He’s a werewolf.” Said Regulus simply, “The Ministry will be suspicious of him from when they check his wand.”

There was a pause. Sirius lowered his gaze with a dark look. Regulus had asked after Remus one full moon, to know why Sirius was getting healing herbs from the store for him. He’d taken the news with just a quiet blink of the eye and that was that. There was nothing needed saying about it except for one thing from Sirius, _that’s only for us to know._ A warning to keep it quiet.

“Well, good then.” Sirius nodded, “He can help us make a plan from home.” James nodded in agreement.

“So!” Sirius clapped his hands, “How shall we start?”

James gave him a smile and leaned forward to start a plan. And he _wanted_ to say _are you totally mad?_ But he’d never seen Regulus go along with any of Sirius’ ideas before.

And so, James Potter’s big dumb heart started the Great Department of Defense Hack of 1984.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little playlist! 
> 
> Good Old Fashion Lover Boy - Queen (mentioned in text)  
> Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush (mentioned in text)  
> I Want To Break Free - Queen (released in 84 and I know Sirius was a fan)  
> The Birds Are Singing At Night - Lord Huron (the track I listened to while writing the night ride on the motorbike)  
> Missing You - John Waite (1984 release, I imagine Hope Lupin liked this song)  
> I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen (won't be released until the year after this fic setting, but I like applying it to Sirius)  
> Come On Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners (Sirius and James wouldn't let this song flop)

“You haven’t been this giddy since we were teenagers.” Remus murmured, passing a hand over Sirius’ back as he paused by him and peered at his work. Sirius was scribbling notes on a page at the table in their flat, bent in a crunch over his speed sloppy handwriting. He had a hand against his crown, holding his hair out of his eyes. There was a whistling sound and Sirius lifted his head, flicked his wand in the general direction of the kettle. A cheerful and bumbling cup of tea and sugar came floating to the table and landed next to Sirius who waved a hand at the sugar and it overzealously dumped all of itself in.

“Remus have you ever been to this area of the ministry? Floor below basement?” Sirius asked and sighed with a creased brow. He tied his hair back and stared at his notes, chin propped on a hand. He tapped a finger into his tea checking the temperature.

“I have not.” Remus smiled subtly. “I try not to stroll about the ministry in my free time.”

“You’ve spent more time there than I have.” Sirius mumbled. “Check ins and registration and all that counterproductive bullshit.”

“It’s all coming back to me now. My cataloged layout of the ministry I created from the Control and Regulations department.”

Sirius grinned and took a sip of tea.

“Do you think we’ll get in any great trouble for this?” Sirius asked conversationally.

“Only if you’re caught, of course.” Remus tugged on a lock of hair at the nape of his neck.

“Yes, top priority.” Sirius nodded sternly. Remus squeezed his shoulder and turned away to the living room. He sighed and crouched down carefully next to the record crate. He put one on and checked the sleeve, tilted his head to eye the record, and thoughtfully placed the needle at one of the smoother lines at the beginning of a track. He let it go and strolled slowly over the living room carpet as Freddie started singing.

_I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things, we can do the tango just for two…_

_“Alright, I can’t focus at all with that playing, damn it!”_ The voice from the kitchen boomed and a scraping and stomping sound followed. Remus smiled.

There were charms books and study sessions and owls in and out of the windows so often that Remus started wearing socks inside when it was chilly, grumpily scowling. Regulus would snap right into their flat and make Remus jump – with a grumble under his breath – and point at the sprawling map Sirius had on the kitchen table of the Ministry of Magic. Remus would sip his tea and cast the charm they used on the Map in school, so that it would only be visible if you tapped it with an authorized wand. No passwords or talking characters, this time. Regulus and Sirius nodded mutely at this, having forgotten about it all together, and resumed drawing on the map.

\--

“You know they’re making a new map, but for the Ministry?” Remus rasped quietly to James as they sat on the couch at the Potter’s. Harry sat in James’ lap and played with a ball of yarn, chatter echoed around as Lily and Regulus and Sirius played a card game on the floor.

“I know.” James gave Remus a sideways look of trepidation. “I’m working on it, too. We’re stopping by the Ministry in the cloak and downloading the registry of Ministry employee wands tomorrow so that the map tracks anyone who’s at work.” He said it all with an air of hapless concern.

“You could stop them.” Remus said in a sing song voice.

“No!” James whispered aggressively. “I am not going to miss this opportunity. Sirius only gets into one of his Family Issues Moods when he’s thinking about Regulus. And I know he feels bad about their relationship.”

“Okay.” Remus laughed. He charmed the yarn in Harry’s hand to float in a fluid path around his grasp.

“Don’t laugh.” James snapped at him with a vindictive look, “They’re going to get you into this.”

“We’ll see.” Remus gave him a pleasant smile. Over these weeks he’d been comfortably on the sidelines and sidestepping out of brainstorm sessions. He laughed to himself suddenly and looked at the group in front of them.

“What?” James grouched. “What’s funny?”

“You’re such an airhead,” Remus smiled. “They don’t need to commit crimes against the state to bond with each other.”

“You don’t know that.” James said flatly.

“If it’s true, then they can’t be friends.” He explained plainly. Remus grinned at him and the ridiculousness of it.

“If it is, then that’s what we’re going to do.” James said. Remus’ smile quieted. “Gods _pray_ for me in the process, if the _Blacks_ put me in _prison_ I’m going to shit myself.”

\--

“I can’t believe I haven’t grown as a person at all since I graduated here.” Sirius said cheerfully in a quiet voice as he squeezed against James’ back underneath the cloak, with his hands resting on his shoulders. The Hogwarts library was shrouded in darkness and the door was shut. The corridor was cold.

“You have grown.” James muttered quietly. “You’re the godfather to my son. You’d better have.”

“Do you both normally talk so very much when trying to be unnoticed in places you definitely should not be?” Regulus whispered irritably. He was very tense which Sirius could feel against his own back. They were pressed against each other James, then Sirius, then Regulus head to toe. They were crouching a little to keep most of their feet covered most of the time. It really was easier when they were younger.

“Obviously, of course.” Sirius laughed into James’ ear. “That’s at least half the fun.”

“I can’t get my wand out of my pocket.” James squirmed and wiggled.

“I’ll get it.” Sirius offered.

“Oh, honestly,” Regulus growled and reached around Sirius and James with his wand under the cloak, squeezing the breath out of them, and unlocked the door alongside a silencing charm.

“Oh, Reg, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so close to you.” Sirius simpered. “I’m warmed.”

“ _Shut_ up.” Regulus snapped, breaking his own effort at silence.

They creeped into the restricted charms section. “What was so wrong with just borrowing or buying the book from anywhere else?” Regulus asked.

“We don’t want to look suspicious.” James supplied.

“Oh, of course, what was I thinking.” Regulus sighed.

\--

“Alright, we’ve about got the charms cracked.” Sirius sighed with a wide eyed dazed look at the Potter kitchen table on a Sunday night. Remus was tiredly sitting at the couch, reading a book.

“We still have to come up with protection measures against any counter charms, Pads. Slow down, we’re not going until we’re ready.” James stood at the table with his arms crossed. Regulus was slouched with his head resting on his hand in a droop.

“We will.” Sirius nodded eagerly.

“I’m serious, there’s no winging anything.” James’ gave him his stern voice.

“I know!”

Regulus lifted his head and rubbed his face tiredly. They all herded to the living room and plopped down in different chairs. Regulus wrapped his arms around himself and rolled his head around to look at James. “We’re going to need a plan soon. We haven’t decided how we’re getting any of this done. The charms were really… the easy part, I think.”

“We’ve got the map and we’ve figured out most of the charms we should be looking at…” James shrugged, “We just make a route, I suppose. We’ll start with that?”

Lily passed through and stopped by to kiss James on the cheek and started banging about in the kitchen for food.

“Remus.” Sirius drew his word out, turning his head to him where they both sat on the couch. Remus stared at his book even though James and Sirius knew he wasn’t reading. Sometimes he could actually focus through a surprising amount of distraction and even conversation with them.

“No, Pads.” His voice was gravelly with disuse and fatigue.

“Come on!” Sirius hopped off the seat and sat on the coffee table in front of the couch. He faced Remus, on the edge of the table and almost close enough for their legs to touch. “You don’t have to come with us! You can just help us with the plan.”

“You don’t need my help.” He sighed and looked up. He had dark circles under his eyes and a severe look like that of a Cabanel painting of an angel.

“Really.” Sirius tilted his head to the side, “You’d trust the plan to James or I? The air tight, safety conscious plan?”

“You’re only saying that because you want me to join in the game with you.”

“Sure, yeah, okay.” Sirius grinned and tossed his head with a shoulder shrugging, “But I’m right, aren’t I? It would be safer with your help, an extra perspective if anything else. We wouldn’t want to make any mistakes.” He pressed and kept his gaze with a glimmer in his eye.

“Regulus can make the plan, you and James can help, there you go.” Remus said simply, looking back down at the book in his hand.

“Moony, _please,_ come on. Don’t you want to help, don’t you want to be a part of it!” Sirius leaned closer and lowered his head to give him that sharp pressuring look. “Don’t you _want_ to fuck the ministry, after _everything_ they’ve done to you.”

The banging in the kitchen silenced and Lily looked up with a wide look, Regulus stared back and forth between the two and James watched Remus gently. In the quiet, Remus made no indication that he’d even heard him but was betrayed just as the quiet had fully settled, by the creak of the book’s spine as it groaned against Remus’ choked grip.

Remus looked into his eyes and Sirius didn’t have the shame or sense to look down or back off or apologize. Remus’ gaze flickered down once to his lips and back to his gaze. It’s always hard to decide what Remus is thinking. Especially now when it looked like so many things. Darkness, or fatigue, or determination, or placid lack of surprise.

“I’ll come up with something.” Remus said. Sirius lit up and didn’t even have the pity to look surprised. He grumbled, “But I’m not putting my ass on the line for any of this idiocy.”

“ _Yes!_ ” Sirius hopped up and put himself right in Remus’ lap and clung to him happily. “ _Moons,_ you have to help, it’s too much fun.”

The banging in the kitchen started back up and Regulus rubbed his eyes again with exhaustion, sighing out all the tension he’d gathered up which reminded him of parties with the Black family and screaming lighting the halls of their home as teenagers.

James stood and made for the kitchen with a _now you’re in it, too, you slippery sod_ smirk when Remus looked at him. Remus rolled his eyes and let his hand rest on Sirius’ back.

Regulus followed through the kitchen and out the back door to step out into the cool dark. He sighed quietly and, for whatever reason perhaps the tension from a few moments ago, he remembered something. Once when he was about ten, Sirius was twelve, there had been an awful row when Sirius had come home from school for summer break. This was one of the very, very bad ones, which made Regulus’ heart speed in his chest at the noise which carried through the house. He’d walked over to the dining room, on a whim. He wasn’t thinking about it, just morbidly drawn to the screaming. When he’d peaked in he’d seen Sirius bound with magical chords to the finely carved mahogany dining table chair. He’d squirmed viciously and screamed and Walburga had cut his hair which had grown out while he’d been gone.

He saw the scene again in his mind, quieted by his current calm and the buzzing of the crickets in the night. Just like always, when he remembered that fight, he saw the tears. They stood out like a chemical burn in his mind, an oil painting of an image. The tears that slid down the red cheeks. When Sirius opened his eyes, the way they shined with them. His shouts held the sound of them.

He stared quietly at the garden for a few more moments. Then he straightened up slightly before turning and going back inside.

\--

In the fields they’d practice the charms they’d need. Lily could stand beside the back door of the house, in the moonlight with Harry asleep in her arms. He was hanging against her shoulder, mouth open and breathing slowly. Remus stood next to her, eating an apple. The night sky overhead was dotted with stars, the moon bending just slightly past half full. It cast a low light over the field so that the two of them could see the figures of James and Regulus and Sirius as they practiced. The glow of their magic would blossom and die. 

Long minutes passed in comfortable quiet and darkness.

“How are classes going?” Lily asked.

“Good.” Remus smiled softly. “I didn’t think I’d enjoy being a teacher so much.”

“It’s been two years now, hasn’t it?”

Remus hummed and nodded, looking at the apple core and lifting a hand to toss it far off into the yard.

“Why did you take the job if you didn’t want it?” Lily asked. Remus huffed with a smile.

“Why do you think?” He murmured, “It was offered to me.”

“You didn’t think…” Lily frowned at the figures. Remus let her stop there and yawned, stretching with a crack. “But it turned out alright?”

“Yeah.” Remus nodded with a pleased smile, “I’m not a perfect teacher. And it’s not what I thought I’d be doing. But I enjoy the details. And the kids. And I’m good at defense.” He shrugged.

“And it makes money.” Lily added.

“And it makes money.” Remus seconded, lifting a finger and grinning at her. “Talk about job security. My employer knows I’m a werewolf and I get the moons off.”

“Oh, Remus.” Lily smiled brightly, the details of her face hidden in the shadows and brushed in moonlight. “I’m so happy for you… for this… It just… I know… maybe you don’t want me to say but it gives my heart relief.”

“I know.” Remus gave her a kind small smile. They were quiet for a bit.

“Now, we just need to find something for Sirius to do.” Lily mused pensively.

“He’ll probably figure it out.” Remus shrugged. “It took James a bit, maybe it’s just taking Pads a bit longer.”

“He’s twenty-five.” Lily tilted her head worriedly. “He just tinkers with his bike, cycles through obsessive interests… I know he’s letting his Uncle Alphard’s old apartment and he’s fine on money, it’s not that. It would be _good_ for him to have work that he can be somewhat invested in.”

“That’s a baby.” Remus quirked his brow, “I’m the youngest professor at Hogwarts, right now. He’s got time. And he’s rich.” He shrugged with a laugh. “He’ll be fine; find something to do.” Lily rolled her eyes fondly.

“I’d love to play hex tag right now.” She sighed.

“Go on.” Remus nodded, “You’ll have the element of surprise.”

Lily thanked him and handed sleeping Harry to him. Remus lay him softly against his chest and wrapped him in his arms. He instinctively started swaying gently for him and watched her traipse through the grass towards the boys. Laughter erupted and colorful hexes jumped between them. Remus turned and made his slow way through the house to Harry’s bedroom. He took his time and stood in Harry’s room, a shaft of weak moonlight falling over them as he hummed crackly lullabies over him where he still slept in his arms. He sat on the little bed for Harry and pulled the blankets down and tucked him in. He stayed for a bit and hummed the song that’s been stuck in his head all day long. He cast some glow in the dark star charms on the ceiling overhead and left the door ajar when he left.

\--

Remus had a very tight grip around Sirius’ waist. He did enjoy riding Sirius’ bike with him. The open air and the separation from everything on Earth, nothing but him and his partner. Still, he was a two or four feet on the ground kind of guy at heart. So he held on tight and enjoyed it in his own way. Sirius just gleamed happily because he always was delighted when Remus would ride along with him.

They were cruising over the night lulling countryside with rolling hills and spotted cottages and trees. He had been talking to Hope and Lyall about home owning. When would be a good time to think about it and how to go about it. His parents were still together. Remus thought they might split from each other after he’d graduated from school. He had always sensed their relationship was almost professional in nature. They were put under such duress when Remus had been turned at a young age, and Lyall’s involvement in it had twisted the situation just a bit more. His parents had never been very affectionate with each other like he’d seen in Effie and Fleamont Potter. They’d been in their middle age when they’d had Remus and their relationship had become that of two weathered adults who were partnered by the shared task of getting through Remus’ rearing in the best way possible. They’d done a good job. Once Remus had graduated there had been a brief period of no luck which had weighed heavy on him but in time his luck had turned miraculously and he was doing well now. No stress bonded his parents anymore. Still they hadn’t split.

He hadn’t told Sirius anything about his thoughts of home, yet. He hardly felt comfortable asking his parents about it. It felt too good to say out loud. But he was thinking: a good, small home in Wales not far from his hometown. Far enough away from others for Sirius to put on the dog safely or for Remus to transform at home if he needed. He was projecting around 1990, when he and Sirius were thirty or approaching it. He was already saving for it. Hopefully his luck in his professional life continued and he’d be able to breach the topic to Sirius.

He let a hand out to the side carefully and felt the wave of the wind cut through his hand. He imagined what Sirius would think of this idea of his. He imagined the enthusiasm. Sirius could afford this already but it was something Remus wanted to do for them. Maybe it would prove to both of them that Remus wouldn’t run when the going got tough.

Sirius slowed the bike and the engine growled down the gears to an idle as they stopped. The key turned and the engine cut entirely leaving them with not a sound but the cavernous journey of the breeze and the sound of their own breathing. Sirius was silent for a while, looking out over the world.

They were very high up, all the sounds of Earth muted. There were no lights that could be seen anymore, no houses either. Just the patchwork quilt of soil and green, scaled far away. Remus looked up at the sky and saw the board of the sky pricked with light like a moth eaten blanket, letting in the light of heaven through the gaps. The moon was a fair crescent.

Sometimes he looks at the moon from the Earth and the sight of it bores into him like a shot from a surreal horror film.

Sirius took his arms in his hands and unraveled them, getting his knees under him and making a precarious maneuver turning around so he could straddle the bike backwards and face Remus. He set the broom across his lap.

“When’d you get the bike to park in air?” He asked. He was sure it hadn’t been able to do that in the several years he’d had it.

“Ehm,” He looked around thoughtfully, “Few months – six months ago?”

“Mm,” Remus hummed. “That’s very practical. Good modification.”

“I’m not the best mechanic so I try to keep it simple. I _think_ if I leave the engine off long enough it will actually stop hovering.” Sirius thought. Mr. Potter had always been the more mechanically savvy of the two of them.

Remus made a very uncomfortable face, showing his teeth and furrowing his brow, “Sirius, good lord…”

“Don’t worry,” He smiled, “I’ll turn the engine on in a bit to make sure we stay up.”

Sirius let his hands graze down his sides and rub his arms, settling them to fidget on his thighs. Remus rubbed his thumb over the back of his palm.

“How’re you feeling about your very big fun prank?” He asked.

“Excited.” Sirius grinned, “You know I can’t wait to pull it off. There’s never a better prank than one that wonders how we did it. And if we aren’t supposed to break the security they simply shouldn’t make it so breakable. I wonder what spellwork we’re going to get. That’s the biggest unknown, we really won’t know what we’ll be up against until we get in there. And I _love_ it.” Remus shook his head and smiled at that. “Aren’t you having fun?”

“I am.” He rasped. “What about Regulus. Is James’ master plan working?”

Sirius reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and took out a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out which they both shared. He made a face at that and groused.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged and wrapped an arm around himself, propping the elbow of his smoking arm on it. “We’re working a lot together on the project. If that was his plan then yes. He’s certainly more settled with the family now.”

Remus smiled darkly and took the cigarette passed to him. “He’s practically a marauder now, mm?”

“Stop it.” Sirius wrinkled his nose at that, “Desist, I beg.”

“What’s his nickname?” Remus mused with a humorous stare into the aerie distance.

“That’s _sacred!”_ Sirius whined. James would probably agree.

“Wormtail didn’t think so, haven’t seen him in years now!” Remus nodded with his chin, grinning around a breath of smoke and huffing it out.

“It’s still sacred. Sod Wormtail.” Sirius insisted, taking back the smoke.

“What’s his patronus?”

“Ask him yourself.”

Remus said okay and Sirius’ face became curious. “You and he seem to get along well. Or you can talk… at least.”

“Sure.” Remus nodded, “Suppose.”

Sirius let this sit for a moment but clearly couldn’t last. “What do you talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Remus laughed softly, “What do any of us talk about. All sorts of things. Mostly we talk about magic. He’s very well read.”

Sirius quirked his brows up at this and looked off. “Just because he’s well read… I know as much dark magic as he does, you know.”

“I know about as much as you both do, now. Or something like it.” Remus gave him the cigarette with a smoothing low smile. He was one of if not the most exciting person Sirius had ever met, a well placed glance from Remus could light a fire in him. But he was also very calming. The sight of him, his expressions, his voice could slow Sirius’ racing energy.

“I should expect.” Sirius nodded primly, taking a drag. “Professor.”

Remus rolled his eyes good naturedly and leaned back on his hands. “You should, though.”

“Should?” Sirius croaked on an exhale with a confused look. Remus took a moment to just look at him. He’d wondered if that pretty face ran in his bloodline. Some of it did. But Regulus wasn’t as pretty as Sirius, no one in his family was.

“You should talk with Reg about your _feelings.”_ Remus smirked.

“Oh, that’s _awful,_ stop it now.” Sirius made a sour expression.

“You know he’s pretty good with electronics magic? I bet he could help you with that.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’ve seen it.”

“That’s not _fair,”_ Sirius whined incredulously to the dark board. Remus laughed through his nose.

“It’s probably just his magic. Some people are just better at different kinds. You’ve got your strengths. But electronic magic is a horridly different beast to mechanical magic.”

“And I’m shit at that as well! This old girl could sink at any moment!” Sirius shouted with a bright smile.

Remus laughed at that, and then comforted his ego even though Sirius was in no way insecure about his abilities and even though Remus would rarely be one to. “That may be so. But just don’t tell my students you might could beat the DADA prof in a duel.”

“Oh, now,” Sirius grinned beautifully preening, “There’s _much_ more to DADA than dueling.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed comfortably as Sirius smoothed a flat hand over his thigh, Remus put his own hand down on top of it. “I mean it, though. I think Regulus has had a rough go of it. It’s good to talk to siblings, they know what you’ve been through.”

“We didn’t get along.” Sirius said quietly. His face was plainer with his memories. Nothing is easy in a warring house. Even things that should be.

“Well.” Remus meted his words, “I think he’d not admit it but perhaps he feels a bit guilty about it all. Or maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Could be.”

“ _He_ feels guilty.” Sirius echoed disbelieving, looking down at the Earth.

“Could be.” Remus rasped gently.

“Do you know what he told me finally convinced him to break off from the family?” Sirius looked back up at him with a piercing look.

“Hm?”

“ _Kreacher._ That bloody twisted _house elf._ Dear old father was talking of mounting his head on the wall and getting a new elf when he started getting just a little slower at work.” Sirius shook his head in confusion. Remus glanced down and stayed quiet while the other glared. Remus was empathetic to house elves because of his own condition. Sirius didn’t seem to make that connection. “That fucking elf always doted on him. After all the horrid, _horrid_ things our parents said and endorsed, the defining line was _Kreacher.”_

“I’m sure it was a bit more complex than that.” Remus murmured soothingly. Sirius hummed at that. Remus pushed his fingers under the sleeves of Sirius’ jacket and rubbed them along the soft skin and the firm and fine structure of his wrist.

“I think it’s about time for a dive, don’t you?” Sirius sighed with a smile, twisting to turn the key and gargle the engine to life.

“Have at it. But do not leave me up here for long, I’m not getting hit by a plane because I can’t drive this hunk.” Remus said and leaned out of the way as Sirius balanced on his two feet standing on the seat of the bike.

“I’ll be back before you know it!” Sirius chirped and held on to the end of the broomstick handle. He gave a thumbs up and put his arms out to the side and fell back into empty air. Dropping with a sickening lurch Remus watched as he plummeted through space. For a moment he sat with the vibrating rumble of the bike, watching until Sirius situated himself on the broom smoothly and swept up and away from the earth in a leisure arch that cut slowly back up to the stars.

\--

James and Regulus sat on the couch at Remus and Sirius’ flat. They were leaning over a box Remus had encrypted so that they could practice charm breaking. Remus was long asleep in bed and Sirius had joined him.

“I’m much better at this sort of magic.” Regulus said quietly.

“Decryption?” James looked over at him. Regulus was quiet for a moment.

“Just the magic that isn’t defense magic.” He supplied. “The children in my family are raised with tutors -”

“A governess.” James smirked. Regulus raised a brow at him and returned to the box, chewing at Remus’ magic.

“We’re all raised learning lots of magic. Sirius was very good at the fast, reflexive magic. I was better at this sort of stuff.” 

James regarded him thoughtfully. Then, picked up a spell book and looked for something to identify what it was Remus had locked the box with.

“Could I ask you something?” Regulus said lowly, keeping his gaze fixed on the box and still touching his wand to it.

“Course you can.” James watched him, a hand still resting on the pages of the book. Regulus held his tongue for a long time. He didn’t seem to visibly hesitate but he did, comfortably, deciding if he wanted to speak.

“Did you and Sirius ever speak of me, in school?”

James took his own time thinking about this. Regulus eventually stopped working at the box and just looked at it instead of James.

“There were a few times.” James said plainly but gently, “Mostly because I brought it out of him. But generally, he didn’t like to talk about any of his family. Things would just come out. Or he would answer honestly if asked about it.”

“Oh.” Regulus nodded and rubbed his thumb between his fingers.

“Do you mind if I ask you something.” James said, “While we’re here.”

“That’s fine.” Regulus said, elbows leaned on his knees.

“Did you and Sirius talk to each other at home? Before he came to live with me? I just can’t imagine the two of you not even speaking, you lived in the same house.”

“It was a big house.” He said drily. Then, more honestly, “Yes we talked, sometimes. But never about anything of importance.”

“That’s a shame.” James said with a furrowed brow.

“It’s hard to explain what it’s like in a house where people fight.” Regulus murmured, “It was like you were being quiet and waiting for the storm to break again. And then it was weathering that storm. They weren’t great big ones, for the most part. Just mother punishing Sirius with a curse for some infraction or another. Or lecturing him or making him do something he didn’t want. And he never tried to be good. So it made it hard between us.”

“Were you ever close?” Regulus’ face remained impassive.

“When we were very young, yes. We were like any brothers close in age.” He paused, “Once Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor everything got worse. And he started trying to be bad, I never knew how he could do that. And I did try to be good. I did what our parents asked of us, whatever they asked. I was perfect. And that just… divided us. Once I was sorted into Slytherin we really didn’t speak anymore.”

“I wondered.” James said with a shadowed look, “I tried to picture his life back home sometimes. I couldn’t understand why you weren’t friends, really.”

Regulus said nothing to this. Silence passed before he did speak again. “I had to see and hear a lot about you and Sirius in school. I knew you were his best mate; I suppose I should thank you. On his behalf. Now that I’m older… it’s obvious you helped him.”

“He was my brother. To me.” _That’s why I never could understand you._ James said it because it was true and because it explained his actions. Even though he knew it was perhaps a strange thing to say to Regulus.

They were quiet for a bit before Regulus touched his wand back to the box and got on with it, unraveling a bit of magic fairly easily.

“Did you like any of our pranks?” James asked after some time had passed.

“Do you want my honest opinion?” His voice dry but humorous.

“Of course!” He smiled.

“Most of it was boyish and stupid and annoying, some of it was cruel, occasionally it was funny, and – very rarely – you had some clever and good ones.”

“ _Ouch,”_ He laughed with a hand over his heart. “When you say ‘honest’ – that was a rough ride. I’m sure you saw the ass end of us in Slytherin.” He returned to the box with Regulus and helped.

“Yes, and I never could hear the end of it, thank the gods it’s over.”

\--

Remus liked to test the three of the boys that were going in for the break. He’d stuck Sirius’ motorbike keys to the ceiling and made it so that nothing could get it off without breaking the charms in order backwards through. _I do love it when we play games, Moony._ Sirius had been sort of quietly miffed at first but Remus had just squinted smilingly and gone off to mark down reading assignments for his coming semester. The ministry hack was set to pull off before Remus returned from summer break to Hogwarts.

Regulus watched on from where he reclined on the sitting room rug, casting enchantments that kept Harry entertained. Sirius had gone for the straight forward route at first, _accio_ , then _wingardium leviosa_ on himself to reach the ceiling and scratch at the keys. Then stood on the ground below them staring up at them stationary for a moment before just casting a blasting charm at the ceiling. There was a terrific boom and a vibration that shook the metal things in the kitchen and made the house shiver. Regulus ducked with a shout and Harry let out a concerned whine.

“Pick him up!” Sirius snapped at Regulus who did with a fumble. Harry calmed uncertainly as Remus smiled and laughed under his breath from the kitchen table.

The ceiling was indestructible at this point, the same reinforcing that kept the walls up around Remus when he transformed except tailored for exactly what Sirius had just tried. The air settled on the ceiling and Sirius raised his wand to point at the keys and stared at them quietly for some time, wand moving minorly as he worked at the magic. Remus was able to focus more on the assignments for longer.

The keys jingled quietly and then resounded in a chink as they landed in Sirius’ hand.

“Very nice.” Sirius breathed and fondled the keys as he strode over to Remus. Remus turned his head to check the wall clock.

“Five minutes and seven seconds.” He smiled fondly at Sirius. “Quite good.”

“Oh,” Sirius grumbled. “If I’d only broken five.”

Remus laughed, “It was very good, Sirius.”

Sirius swung around behind his seat and wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders and tucked his nose against the side of his neck, kissing and smiling. Remus’ eyes closed for a moment.

“You promise to test me more, professor?” Sirius leered in his ear.

“Christ,” Remus blinked his eyes open, catching sight of Regulus resolutely looking at Harry who was back to chasing animated dragons. “How d’you feel about that one?”

“Confident, saucy, aroused.” Sirius grinned against the side of his face. Remus couldn’t help a laugh at this, hand wrapped around Sirius’ bicep.

He turned to give Sirius a soft but chaste kiss, “You’ve got somewhere to be, don’t you?”

Sirius kissed his cheek twice roughly and licked his ear, making Remus scoff aggravatedly.

Remus and James sat down and figured out a reliable portkey link, the only clean and untraceable way to escape without apparition. There were three made each for Regulus and Sirius and James.

That day when they got the portkeys sorted out, James asked Lily in bed that night, “Do you think I’m losing my sense of fun? I just keep thinking what if we get caught.” He sounded concerned at the prospect of losing this part of him which he’d so enjoyed in youth.

He was leaned across the bed in a long line, head leaned on his hand and one arm across Lily’s stomach. She was reading a book to the side in one hand but put it down at this, looking at him.

“That’s because you’re a normal human being who developed the consequence part of your brain after adolescence. Also, you have a son now.” She was always so straight forward in her sense. “I think the same thing.”

“Why aren’t you nagging me to stay behind?” James narrowed his eyes. Lily looked away and seemed to think about it.

“Not sure.” She murmured, “I mean… you already have the same doubts I do. There’s nothing new I can tell you. You’re going to do as you will.”

“I’ll do as you will.” James said, simple and true. Lily looked at him with a smile in her eyes.

“Maybe a lot of the time,” She smiled laughingly, reaching up to brush back a wild tuft of hair hanging over his forehead. “But your friends are different. I know better than that. I stay out of the way of you and Sirius and Remus.” She was quiet for a few more moments. She rubbed her face with a sigh, “Obviously, I’m worried. I wish you’d all just keep to the _legal_ pranks, there are so _many_ of them… But on the other hand… It’s up to you.”

James leaned back a bit and looked across Lily distantly.

“I am worried. But I’m so sure Regulus and Sirius are getting better. And I could never imagine that, I knew it just would never… happen. Plus,” James look at her with a grimly acquiescent spark in his eye. “I am a little excited. I know that’s crazy.”

Lily smiled at that. She put a hand on his head.

“Well, James Potter. If you’re going to do it, you’d better stop hesitating and _get on with it.”_

\--

Remus was sitting outside in the dark with Regulus one evening, just before they were set to go. They were sat on two squat stools on the back step at the Potter’s. Both of their heads ducked low over a bracelet tied around Regulus’ wrist. Their wands were out and setting subtle glows in the night air as the cool air blew around them.

“There,” Regulus said, “Like that, keep casting.”

“You believe in luck magic?” Remus asked distractedly, with suspicion.

“You don’t?” Regulus asked. Remus leaned back and rubbed an itch on his brow be bending back to the enchanted luck charm.

“I don’t know.” He grumbled, “It reminds me of divination.”

“You don’t like divination?”

“I think not,” He chuckled, “I’m not the type to say things happen for a reason. Its better if they’re just… horrible accidents. I think of all of us, James believes the most.” He mused. “Sirius doesn’t like being told anything by anyone, I think. Lily thinks it’s too big to mess with. Smart girl.”

“You don’t like predestination?” Regulus asked.

“No.” Remus said simply. They finished the luck spell on the bracelet together, leaning away as Regulus adjusted it on his wrist. “You really think that will work?”

“I’ve no idea if it will work.” Regulus hummed. “But luck magic is real. It’s just not known how to interact with it very well. The theory is inconsistent. Not like potions or transfiguration. It’s a part of the old magic I read in the Black library.”

Remus hummed at that and they sat quiet for a while. Remus excused himself to go grab a smoke and Regulus shook his head when he offered to grab him one.

“You don’t smoke?” Remus asked as he lit his. He rarely did himself, but it was easier to feel comfortable if he did.

“No.” He replied, “If I tried now, I’d just gag half to death, I’m sure.”

“Ah.” Remus smiled with a wisp of smoke and huffed it all out. “You feeling alright about the plan?”

“Yes,” Regulus nodded, “It’s tight.”

“You don’t seem like the type.”

“For… pranks? Or hacking?”

Remus mused with a wry expression. “I think we’re fairly well out of prank territory and into high crime, actually.” They were both quiet for a while and Regulus seemed to look soberly into the dark. “Are you scared?”

“Are you?” He said back promptly.

“Sure.” Remus said with a breath out. “But it’ll be a hell of a story when it’s done. And I’ve got a long bad habit of just going along with the boys. Had too much fun. Now, it’s sentimental.”

Regulus hummed at this. “I’m not exactly scared per say but I am a little worried… if that makes sense.”

“Sure.” Remus frowned thoughtfully, though his tone said _not really._

“It’s been a very strange year for me.” Regulus said. “That’s why I’m not scared. I feel like I should be dead right now, sort of. Like I died when I left the family and this is some strange hallucination that isn’t ending… That’s so awfully dramatic, Merlin’s sake.” He rolled his eyes at himself as if bored and leaned back with a haughty look off into the distance. He looked like Sirius. Remus laughed at this with a start.

Regulus looked back, “Don’t take that to mean I miss them. I’m not devastated about the actual _family_ bit. It’s just I never thought I would. And now here I am. Seems unreal.”

“Hm.” Remus nodded at that. “You always just seemed like such a survivalist. To be… taking this risk, I mean.”

Regulus didn’t look at him at that, staring away with a blank face silently. There was something just barely noticeably off in his eyes.

“Yes.” Regulus finally said. “As I said it’s been a strange year.”

Remus smoked the end of his cigarette before Regulus spoke up again, always considerately as if having decided it was the correct decision.

“Can I ask you something? And if you don’t want to answer just don’t and we’ll ignore it.” Remus gave a dry grin at that and consented.

“Does Sirius being an animagi have something to do with your being a werewolf?”

“Ah… yes.” Remus relented carefully with a half-restrained expression. “I really shouldn’t be telling you things like that, should I.”

“I won’t rat you out after all this; I’m about to commit, what might be, I think treason against the state.” Regulus scathed. “When did he do that?”

“Mm, fourth or fifth year?”

“ _Fourteen?”_ Regulus outburst. Remus looked up at him with raised brows. “That’s… young.”

“For what?”

“Illegal magic. And… so careful a process.”

“Well, I don’t think any of us really knew it was so illegal at the time. I mean, we knew… but just enough to keep it a secret. And I think we just liked keeping secrets… But as for the magic, it was complicated but they had motivation and it’s not _that_ complicated. My favorite bit was the mandrake leaf in the mouth for months.” Remus smiled at this, remembering the great fearful outbursts from day to day of the boys thinking they’d accidentally swallowed their leaves. The constant adjusting of the leaf in the mouth to talk around it. _Amato animo animato animagus…_

“Do you really have to wait for a lightning storm to drink the potion?” He asked curiously. Remus smiled.

“Yes, actually. Terrible thing.”

“Well no wonder you were all so thick as thieves.” Regulus mused quietly.

At this there were shouts in the house and James and Sirius came clattering out of the back door at a chaotic bound.

“Reg, Moony!” Sirius shouted, “We’re going broom jumping d’you want to come?”

“Broom jumping?” Regulus asked under his breath.

“Oh, Sirius.” Remus groused with worry as Sirius started pressing Regulus to join with James’ help. “Are you drunk? James?”

“No!” James reassured while Sirius complained, “We haven’t been drinking, swear, now let’s _go.”_

“No!” Remus wriggled out of James’ tug and Regulus gave a concerned look over his shoulder while the three started to the broomshed, as he ducked back inside. “Have fun!”

\--

James gave a nervous inhale and huffed it out, putting the ministry map into his pack and turning to Lily who stood next to the table where Harry was seated, chattering at her.

“You ready?” Lily asked, a hand rubbing over Harry’s back.

“Daddy!” Harry chirped, “Can we play with the broomstick?”

James picked him up but the armpits and hiked him into his arms. “Tomorrow, we’ll play with the brooms! But I have to go adventuring tonight.” He smiled and talked along while Harry babbled curiously about “aventuring.”

Lily smiled gently at them with a hand on the hip for a few moments before saying, “Harry why don’t you go find Uncle Padfoot for a moment, darling.”

Regulus took the opportunity in overhearing from the living room to cast a very eye catching dog that bounded around James’ feet and snapped at Harry’s toes. He cooed excitedly at it and James dropped him down to play with Regulus.

“Are you going to have fun?” Lily asked quietly.

“I think so! I’m excited.” James grinned cheerily. “I’ll be back before you know it!”

“Alright.” Lily crossed her arms. “After this perhaps you could consider the… merits of legal trouble making.”

“Oh, absolutely.” James leaned in with a kiss to her cheek and ran a hand down her long hair. “Never again. Just don’t tell Sirius.”

“Never.” Lily smiled warmly. James called for the other two and they all gathered and left Remus and Lily waiting with Harry on the back porch as the three trooped off into the darkling field.

There they gathered where they would apparate away. James put a hand on both shoulders of the other two. “Are we ready to hack the ministry, boys?”

Regulus looked at Sirius who turned his eager grin from James to him. “Are we?”

“We’re ready.” Regulus nodded.

“Are you scared.” Sirius grinned wickedly.

“I am _not_.” He rolled his eyes.

James laughed at along at this, “I always found the fear thrilling!”

“There’s no fear anymore that can thrill me like McGonagall.” Sirius sighed mournfully. James cackled at this and looked back excitedly.

“We should say the words! For the map!”

“Ah, sentimental, Prongsie.” Sirius cooed.

“What are the words?” Regulus asked curiously.

“The words to unlock our old map back at school. A password we made up.” Sirius admitted with a tinge of embarrassment.

“What are they?”

James said, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

“That’s wicked.” Regulus whispered. “On three?”

“On three.” James nodded. He counted off and they spoke.

_I solemnly swear I am up to no good,_ before they snapped away into the night.

\--

The night of the break in to the heart of the defense department went off without a hitch and left Remus relieved and on fire with pleasure at the success. He’d waited with Lily at home all night until he saw the three figures loping across the black field toward the Potter house. He and Lily had held their breaths as they watched the figures. Then Sirius had disappeared onto four legs and sprinted at a run across the grass with his jagged toothed maw open in a dog smile. He barked and Remus laughed stepping forward to greet him as he transformed back and wrapped him up. James had taken off running after the dog and arrived to kiss Lily. Regulus walked with plenty of sense and dignity and they met him and slung rough arms around him so they could walk back to the house with voices overlapping as they talked about the job.

That night they’d drank ( _There’s always sobering charms, Reg, come on! It’s fine!)_ and danced and talked and talked about the great fun of it all and the fear and the victory. And the boys relayed everything they’d seen and all the surprises and near hang ups and mysteries in the depths of the ministry. And Kate Bush started singing through the speakers and Sirius found Remus like he’d known he would as soon as he’d heard the song.

Remus had beamed at him and rested his arms around his waist as Sirius wrapped his arms around his neck and swayed with him to _Heathcliff, it’s me, I’m Cathy, I’ve come home._

By the time they all separated for bed it was the last hour of darkness before dawn and Sirius and Remus fell soundly asleep in bed.

When Remus woke up, it was to disorienting sunlight in the room. It was midday though he hadn’t figured that out yet. There were two people standing in the bedroom dressed in auror uniforms.

_Fuck._

He felt the dread in his body like he’d never felt. Like a gunshot dropping through him. It was a necessary trait and habit that he could keep a straight face when living with a secret, but at that moment his face was every bit as wide eyed as Sirius’.

“Sirius Orion Black?” The woman said in a calm severe command. The two aurors stood over the foot of the bed, where the two men still lay half covered in the bedsheet. Remus hadn’t figured out what time of day it was yet but he was thinking wildly if they should run now or not.

Sirius still hadn’t answered and the auror spoke again, “We have reason to believe you may have been present during a crime last night. We’ll need to take you in for questioning.”

Remus looked at him. The bright light hitting the back of his head and the still wide eyes.

“Sure.” Sirius said and Remus could feel his heart pounding in his own chest. Sirius jumped up and yanked on some jeans, still wearing a thin black shirt. As he did this, Remus’ mind started racing with thoughts. _What if he takes veritaserum without a court order he doesn’t have to do that he needs to get representation before he speaks to the aurors, right?_ His thoughts raced messily but he couldn’t think of a way to communicate to Sirius anything without making it look worse. So Sirius let them both take his arms and with a lurch they disappeared.

Remus sat for a moment not breathing to the pound of his heart, shocked. Then he bolted out of bed and jerked on pants at speed and turned into space to apparate to James and Lily’s house.

\--

“I’m going to skip the part where I ask you to tell us the truth and just tell you how we know you were involved in the breach, alright Mr. Black?” The head Auror said. They were in a square room with runes on the grey walls and no visible door. There was a metal table and a chair on one side where Sirius sat and two chairs on the other side. The head of the Department of Defense was seated in a lounge and a furrow in his brow. The auror speaking was standing behind the second chair with his arms crossed.

At no answer from Sirius, he spoke again.

“The sign? In the last vault in the basements?” The auror narrowed his eyes incredulously. “The enchantment that traced directly to your wand?”

Sirius closed his eyes with the absurdity of it and felt sick to his stomach. They’d gone through… a lot… one could say, to ensure they were undetectable. James had been such a bloody stickler. And at the last moment when they’d finally broken in to what seemed to be the most heavily encrypted and locked room in the underground department… well… They’d just been having so much fun and they’d all been so caught up in the artifacts and the other things of such mystery, when they’d found they’d waltzed to the back of the Defense Department successfully, Sirius had said they should leave a sign to show the Ministry they’d broken all their codes.

No one had objected, they’d not thought about the spell being traced.

“ _I win?”_ The head of the Defense Department said with a sort of dry tone. He had his jaw leaned against his weathered hand.

Sirius opened his mouth and closed it again.

The Auror stepped forward and picked up Sirius’ wand which he’d been asked to place on the table. He gave it a motion which was far too mechanical for the proper handling of that particular wand.

“ _Prior Incantato.”_ The old grizzly man, with only one eye, groused. Out onto the table erupted a cheerful yellow, sparkling sign, along with a burst of confetti. It said _I Win!_ A second little phrase shimmered like a tiny firework above the sign that said _Beat You!_ and disappeared.

Sirius stared at the little spell speechless.

_Oh my god…_

The big auror sat Sirius’ wand back down on the table and swiped a hand through the sign so that it dissipated with a last cheerful fizzle.

“Boy.” The auror said gruffly with a horrible glare at Sirius. “I’ve never seen such a stupid thing! Fool! Do you know we can’t find a single trace of anyone in that entire department, not a trace of the wand that unlocked the charms securing the place - except for _this spell?_ ”

_Oh my god._ Sirius thought again.

“Why did you do that?” The other man asked slowly as if trying to keep up with a very dumb joke.

“I…” Sirius blinked and shut his mouth. “I thought you should know I’d beat your security…”

There was a silence following that which seemed to bare down on Sirius with such extent stupidity, under the stares of the two wizards, that he finally gained his speech back. Perhaps the shock had set in and he couldn’t feel the god-awful fear in his body anymore.

“If someone can walk through your encryptions with relative ease, don’t you want to know about it?” Sirius spoke. He couldn’t feel his toes.

The two men stared at him with visible confoundment.

“How did you get in.” The head of the Defense Department asked finally.

And Sirius told the most careful and believable lie layered with truth that he had ever told before, telling them how he’d done it from planning to action. He didn’t create any information that wasn’t true, only skirted with extreme care around the information of any other people involved.

Some time later, the auror asked, “Did you have any accomplices?”

“No.” Sirius said in the same tone he’d been speaking in, meeting his gaze for a second before adding the tiniest quirk of one side of his mouth.

“You didn’t have any help.” The auror asked.

“No.” Sirius frowned at this haughtily, “I find that offensive that you don’t believe. Although… in light of the circumstance…”

“It’s highly unlikely you did this alone, Black.” The auror said again, putting his big hand on the back of the steel chair that he stood behind.

“Well, it should have been highly unlikely that I did it _at all_ , shouldn’t it? But I’m not the one with flawed defense charms on my _Defense_ Department, am I.”

“We’ll be talking about that.” The Defense Department head growled under his breath grudgingly. Sirius lost his smile and his stomach flipped as he swallowed but he didn’t remove the put upon challenging attitude in his gaze.

“Black.” The auror spoke up. “ _Appare Vestigium_ tracked that spell clean to your wand, the last spell cast on your wand was the very same, and you’ve just confessed. You’ll go to trial but you’ll be found guilty. That’ll be a sentence in Azkaban.”

Sirius closed his mouth and looked up at him and truly the shock was a great thing because he for once in his life couldn’t think. The head of Defense spoke at this, leaning forward like a slow old man and putting his elbows on the table.

“Unless you agree to take a contract with the Ministry. Two years at least, charm breaking for the ministry, maybe longer, I don’t know yet.”

“I…” Sirius fumbled, “Charm breaking?”

“Yes.” He gave Sirius a condescending look, “Unless you did something else. You didn’t take anything did you? Did you fuck around with anything down there?”

“No.” Sirius would have said that no matter what.

“Well, why did you do it, then?” The man asked with a piercing glare.

“Because it was fun!” Sirius shrugged defensively.

“Exactly,” the man said. The auror groaned and turned around with an exasperated curse ( _Merlin’s **sake** , boy)_. “It looks like you broke into the Ministry of Magic Defense Department… for fun… and you haven’t shown a different motive. It might be court ordered contractual labor but at least it’s not prison. If you like solving magic problems it might even be fun. So what do you say. Azkaban or charm breaking?”

“Charm breaking.” Sirius responded.

“Good.” The man sighed and leaned back. “If you can affirm your intentions under Veritaserum, we’ll be wrapped up, you’ll be off the hook. Or the big one at least.”

“Isn’t Veritaserum faulty?” Sirius griped because he was running on automatic response at the moment and well…

“That’s why we don’t ask complicated questions. It’s just a little insurance. In _your_ favor.” The man leered at him as if begging him to shut his dumb mouth.

Sirius nodded promptly.

\--

And that’s the story Sirius retold to his panic ridden family when they finally released him to their charge again, in the Auror Wing.

At home Sirius couldn’t stop vibrating with shakes as he gripped a cup of warm tea, no sugar or cream, too tightly. Remus seemed to have aged over the last 20 odd hours and now sat slouched at the table. James sat with his knees knocking against Sirius’, sitting in a chair beside him at the table, facing him close enough that their legs met. He’d hugged Sirius very tightly and hadn’t moved his chair back. Regulus was with his arms crossed against the wall by the table and Lily was holding Harry with a perpetual wide-eyed stair.

“We are never. Ever. Doing that again.” James said, one elbow on the table.

“Jesus Christ.” Lily breathed out. Harry looked around obliviously at the room, wondering. He had one hand tangled in his mother’s long red hair.

“It was my idea.” Regulus blurted. Sirius looked up at him.

“I know.”

“Seriously, that’s enough… that’s enough pranking.” Lily said, still holding Harry close as if for comfort. After a tense moment of silence, Sirius spoke up.

“There is legal pranking, let’s not be rash.”

“Oh my _god,_ oh my god.” Remus babbled sort of hysterically as he covered his face with his hands and shook his head as groans resounded around the room and they laughed.

“You take Harry, here, take him now. And you think about what you did.” Lily put Harry in Sirius’ arms, who pressed him close and laughed shakily while Harry played with his hair and said _Padfoot._

_“_ I didn’t do it alone!” Sirius yelped as the room clamored with chatter and movement, “It was Regulus’ idea!”

“I’m never doing anything again.” Regulus put in shockily.

James walked back over to Sirius and squeezed he and Harry both in a great fearfully happy hug.

“Mischief managed?” Sirius asked. James squeezed him tighter.

“Mischief managed.” He responded and ruffled a hand through his hair as Remus stood and opted that they start a meal, because they could all use some food.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at thisshipsailsitselff I just can't remember how to make a hyperlink.


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